What You Want
by Short-circuit-Soulmate
Summary: Hermione is in love with Draco Malfoy, but when things dont go as planned will she learn that sometimes what you want isnt as important as what you need? One-shot. HG/DM HG/RW


Hermione scooped the bubbling potion out of the cauldron, and transferred it to a small silver flask. She was currently sitting cross legged in the abandoned girls' bathroom, trying to ignore Moaning Myrtle, who was gurgling away in one of the toilets. Hermione had been using the bathroom for the last week to brew her own concoction; what she hoped would be a love potion even more potent than Amortentia.

She brought the flask to her nose and smelt it. The smells hit her as one, but she was able to identify different aromas. _Sandalwood. Spearmint. Old parchment. _She shook herself back into reality and closed the lid of the flask popping it into her pocket, before banishing the rest of the potion. She began to clear her work space on the middle of the tiled floor.

Hermione would have liked to say that her project was something she was working on for an extra credit Potions assignment, but unfortunately it was purely personal, and she felt ashamed and pathetic just acknowledging the fact.

She had spent months researching, testing on unknowing first years, and going back to the drawing board. She was finally certain tonight that she'd gotten it right and impatience itself was telling her to just go for it this time.

Hermione had her eye on someone who she knew would never look her way twice. He was a blonde haired, gray eyed, arrogant, selfish Slytherin, but despite all that, Hermione still found herself pulled towards him.

'Perhaps it's some form of Stockholm Syndrome,' Hermione mused to herself as she left the bathroom and made her way toward the Head Boy and Girl dorms, 'perhaps all those years of name calling, abuse, and bullying made me think I need him to think differently of me, at least for a little while.' Hermione didn't know what drew her to Draco Malfoy, so she simply just accepted it, that is after at least a year or two trying to deny it.

This year had been different though. Hermione and Malfoy had been named Head Girl and Head Boy, they had to live and work together on a daily basis. Hermione pretended it was the most horrible news she'd ever gotten, but deep down when Harry and Ron were spluttering about what a horrendous decision it was to name Malfoy Head Boy, she was silently thanking the gods.

They had progressed little in the past 5 months of living together. In fact, Malfoy barely acknowledged her existence anymore. The occasional insult was thrown, but mostly he just acted as though she weren't there. Hermione wasn't sure which was worse.

She was now standing in front of the portrait to the Head Dorms. The portrait was of a unicorn with a forest nymph on its back. "Password?" The nymph spoke in a high pitched, chiming voice.

"Butternut pumpkin." Hermione wasn't sure where they got these passwords from, but they seemed to be getting more ridiculous as the years passed.

She stepped into the common room and found the person she'd been thinking about so much lately, sitting in an arm chair, scribbling notes on a parchment as he read through the potions text book. Hermione had to check herself whenever she saw the boy. He was just perfect. His hair was neat, but no longer slicked back by gel; a couple of strands fell in front of his eyes as he scribbled away furiously. His skin was pale, but perfect. His face was something beyond description, he was single handedly the most attractive male in Hogwarts. His body was toned and lean from playing Seeker for the Slytherin Quidditch team, but Hermione's favourite part of him was his eyes. They were like storm clouds; they had infinite depth and Hermione found herself getting lost in them whenever she stared too much. Like right now. It was only when those eyes turned on her, an eyebrow raised, did she snap out of it.

"Can I help you, Granger? I know I'm incredibly attractive, but you might want to blink at some point." The boy said, looking at her like she belonged in St Mungo's.

Hermione swung her bag off her shoulder moodily and dropped it on a vacant chair. "Shut up, Malfoy." Hermione couldn't help but feel bubbly inside, but hid it with her normal amount of animosity, this had been the first time he'd acknowledged her presence all week, and she had been starting to fret. Despite the blush still on her cheeks from being sprung leering, she jumped straight back into her normal role of 'Malfoy hater'.

"I'd learn to respect my superiors if I were you, Granger." He spat, turning his head back to his parchment. Hermione was seething, she just wanted to go and knock that cocky look of his face...with her lips. 'Oh god, Hermione, cant you ever just get it together?' She cringed inwardly, but smiled a little thinking of the look on Malfoy's face if she did just grab him and kiss him.

'Perhaps I could test my potion tonight?' Hermione thought. It was a Saturday tomorrow, so if there were any negative effects, she'd have a day to fix them. She tried to ignore the fact that she was also craving the boy in front of her more than she could handle. So she stood up and walked toward the portrait. "I'm going to the kitchen."

"Tell someone who cares," Malfoy drawled after her. She walked down the corridor toward the painting of the fruit bowl. Her potion was sitting in the flask in her pocket, she knew if the potion worked then it must be strong because it would take something amazing to make Malfoy want to snog her.

Hermione tickled the pear and asked for two butter beers, she hoped Malfoy wouldn't be suspicious that she thought to bring something back for him. When she made it back outside the head dorm she stopped and unscrewed the lid of one of the bottles, removed the flask from her pocket and poured the potion in. She then used her wand to seal the lid back on before entering the dorm again.

Malfoy was still sitting on the chair scribbling away. He didn't look up until Hermione clunked the bottle of Butter beer down in front of him, and then sat back in her chair opening her own.

"Seems as though you have learned to respect your superiors, Granger. You'd make a great slave, in more ways than one." He smirked at her blushed face, and popped the cap on the bottle before sitting it on the table. Hermione let out a frustrated breath. 'Just drink it already.' She groaned inwardly.

She decided that sitting there staring at Malfoy might make him a little suspicious, so she sat her own bottle on the table, and went to retrieve some Ancient Runes homework from her bag. With her back turned she heard Malfoy lift the bottle from the table, she couldn't help the sly smile that came to her mouth, but straightened her face as she turned around. Malfoy was drinking deeply from the bottle. 'Any minute now.' She thought.

Unfortunately for Hermione, five minutes later Malfoy was still not reacting to the potion. 'He should be grovelling at my feet, or at least trying to kiss me.' She thought, sulkily. She narrowed her eyes at the boy. 'Damn him.'

Malfoy looked up and saw Hermione shooting daggers in his direction. "If I didn't know any better Granger, I'd say you were in love with me. I always catch you staring..." he trailed off, sipping from his drink, eyeing her with a cocky eyebrow raised.

Hermione, in an attempt to break eye contact picked up her bottle and took a swig. "You wish, Malfoy."

Hermione felt instant warmth inside her stomach that spread out toward the rest of her body. Her heart beat rapidly, and her stomach bubbled with butterflies. Her eyes developed a dazed, glazed over look. She looked at Malfoy and she was sure in that moment she would never look away. Malfoy simply smirked, but something lay hidden behind those eyes.

"You see, Granger, I do know better. Like I would accept a drink off you. I switched them when you turned your back. I know you put something in that." He motioned towards her bottle.

This would have been frustrating and humiliating news to Hermione, but right now she was too focused on Malfoy's lips. She stood and walked toward him, kneeling in front of him, her hand resting on his knee. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was berating herself for being so forward, but she couldn't help it, she had to be closer to him.

Malfoy's smirk faded and he stared down at her. "What are you doing?" he questioned, she could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

Hermione was certain he was fighting an inner battle, despite the look on his face showing no emotion. Eventually he slid off the chair and down next to her, looking defeated and slightly ashamed for giving into his desire.

Hermione lifted her hand to his face and traced the frown lines between his eyebrows, smoothing them out. He closed his eyes, relishing in the feeling. She leant in to kiss him, whispering "I love you, Draco," on his lips before she pressed her own against them. The kiss started off slow, and Draco was being unresponsive and uncertain, but after a few seconds he gripped her face with his hands and kissed back with a force that sent Hermione's head spinning more than it already was. Their tongues danced and Hermione whimpered when he bit her bottom lip.

His hands slid their way down her neck, her shoulders, her waist. He cupped her breasts and she moaned against him. She ran her hands through his hair, before grabbing it and using it as leverage to pull him even closer. They explored each other's bodies with their hands, removing each other's clothes, til they were completely bare.

Draco traced his fingers down her chest and stomach as she lay before him, looking at him like he was her world. She motioned for him to come closer, so he climbed in between her thighs and they made love. He revelled in the sounds of her whispering his name over and over in fits pleasure, and when he could feel himself nearing his own end he whispered in her, "You don't know how long I've wanted this." With one last kiss, they settled next to each other, wrapped in one another's warmth.

Hermione's potion had been different from Amortentia, instead of needing an antidote; she had developed it so that the effects faded after a short time. As Hermione and Draco looked at each other, her head started to clear, and the dazed look in her eyes became clearer.

As Hermione came to the realisation of what had happened she sat up and looked around, she was completely nude with Malfoy, who was looking at her, realising that none of the past hour was real, atleast not to Hermione. "I'm assuming that was a love potion you tried to give me then." He said, not looking at her, "If this was some attempt to make a fool out of me Granger, then I'm afraid your plan backfired. You tell anyone what happened, and they'll know what a minx you are in the bedroom, and I'm not afraid to over-exaggerate."

He stood up and gathered his clothes that were strewn on the floor, leaving Hermione to look bewildered as he walked to his room.

'What are you doing, you idiot?' He scolded himself as he entered his room, 'You should have never let that happen.'

Hermione was still confused at Draco's words. He thought this was a joke? If only he knew the truth. Hermione could still smell him on her after she went to bed. _Lemon. Rain. New Robes. _Hermione found herself sobbing that night.

Two weeks after her night with Malfoy, Hermione had slipped into a small depression. She still went through the motions of eating, sleeping, studying, going to class, but she felt like a robot. Every time she saw Malfoy, he would just ignore her, or look the other way, it made her stomach clench that he acted like nothing ever happened. Harry and Ron had noticed the change in Hermione, but every time they tried to talk about it, she would excuse herself claiming she had an essay that needed to be referenced.

Hermione was at the point where she couldn't take it anymore, she needed to confront him, to let him know how she really felt. One Tuesday night she entered the head dorms to do just that. Malfoy was once again sitting, doing his schoolwork on the couch like he did every night, so Hermione walked over and stood over him shadowing his light.

"I can't see, Granger." He said, barely looking at her.

"I want to talk to you. I at least deserve some kind of acknowledgement, Malfoy. What happened meant something to me." She forced herself to tell him the truth, but her heart sunk when Malfoy rolled his eyes.

He sighed and looked up at her. "What do you want me to say, Granger? That we will be together? That everything will be alright? That we'll get married and have beautiful half-blood children?" He questioned harshly. "None of that will happen Granger."

Hermione bit her lip. "Why did you sleep with me?"

"Because we both wanted to. You may be a know-it-all, but I can admit you aren't so bad in the looks department." It was the first almost nice thing Malfoy had said to her, but it didn't appease her anguish.

"Do you not feel anything for me?" She asked, trying not to come across as too pathetic.

"Even if I did Granger, it wouldn't change the circumstances. I'm a Slytherin, you're a Gryffindor. I'm a pureblood, you're a mudblood. You're best buds with Harry Potter, I loathe him. Not to mention we'll be fighting on opposite sides during the war. It's just not going to work." He needed to make sure she got it through her mind that it was over, that there was nothing there. "You were only good for one night any way, Granger."

He turned back toward his work, and Hermione walked as quickly as she could out of the portrait hole, before running as fast as she could down the corridor, tears streaming down her face.

"It was for her own good anyway. She's too naive." Draco muttered to himself.

He got up and retired to his room, just in time to hear the tapping of an eagle owl at the window. He opened it and let the owl fly onto his desk. He removed the note from its leg, knowing full well who it was from. He unravelled the parchment and read it.

_Son,_

_I hope you have done what you said you would, otherwise the consequences will be harsh, I promise you that. I certainly hope I was wrong in what I saw in your mind and that you were purely using the mudblood for stress release, and not because you actually cared for her, but I suppose that is wishful thinking on my part. You are lucky it was I and not the Dark Lord who had performed Legilimency on you; otherwise you certainly would have been punished severely, if not killed for your traitorous ways. You are a Malfoy, and you should associate only with those who are worthy of you. Ensure you have ended it and put that little mudblood back in her place, otherwise it will be both of you who will feel the Dark Lord's wrath, and I will make sure of it._

_LM_

Draco sighed and grabbed a spare piece of parchment off his desk, scribbling a quick reply to his father that read only two words.

_It's done._

As the owl flew off into the night, he sat at his desk with his head in his hands.

Hermione had run until her feet gave way and she settled herself against the stone wall. It just so happened that habit had caught up with her and she was just around the corner from the Fat Lady's portrait, though she only realised this when she heard the familiar voices of her friends.

"Oh, and bring back some Pumpkin Pasties!" called Harry.

"Bring me back a butter beer, Ron!" Ginny called. Hermione heard the much closer voice of an impatient Ron Weasley call back "Yeah, yeah. Pumpkin pasties and butter beer. Got it."

The red headed boy turned the corner and stopped when he saw the curly hair of someone leaning against the wall, sobbing. He recognised her immediately. "Mione?" Ron said, concern filling his voice as he moved closer, "What's wrong?"

Hermione looked up and saw Ron crouched in front of her, looking worried. She simply shook her head, "I was stupid Ron, I've acted like an idiot." She sobbed again. Ron placed his hand on her knee.

"Don't say that, Mione. You're the cleverest which I know. Even when you're acting stupid, you're smarter than me and Harry combined." He joked, trying to lighten the mood. Hermione laughed.

"I don't know why I thought I needed anyone else; you and Harry are all I need."

Ron, while still confused about what Hermione was talking about, smiled anyway. "You're brilliant, Mione. If someone can't see that, then it's their own bloody problem." He blushed slightly, feeling embarrassed about showing his true feelings for the witch.

Hermione smiled at the red head. He always knew how to cheer her up. They shared a significant look for a moment before Ron broke the silence.

"Fancy a trip to the kitchens with me? I think a butter beer will make you feel loads better." He grabbed her hands and pulled her up, causing her to giggle.

"Hop on." He said, bending slightly, offering her a piggy-back ride, "Your carriage awaits, milady." He put on a fake posh accent, which caused Hermione to laugh again. She jumped on Ron's back and they made their way down the corridor, laughing the whole way.

Hermione rested her head on Ron's back and breathed in his scent, letting the aromas of sandalwood, spearmint and old parchments soothe her. She knew in that moment that everything would be okay.

_'You cant always get what you want; But if you try sometimes, you might just find, you get what you need.'- _The Rolling Stones


End file.
